What Therapy is: More Than Just “Talking About Your Problems”
When people are considering starting therapy, they sometimes have a very specific idea of what it is and what it is not. This makes sense, because if you’ve never done therapy before, you don’t have a lot to go on in terms of imagining what it would be like. But when you’re deciding whether or not to use therapy, it can be helpful to have a better idea of what you are actually getting into.
Some people have the idea that therapy is just for talking about your problems, or “venting.” This is shown on the first pie chart to the right. Sometimes therapy can look like this, but often that is only part of the story. When you talk about what is going on for you and your therapist responds to that, they may be helping to guide you towards more insight about what is happening, helping you to think about yourself in a different way, or practice other approaches for coping with what is happening. Sometimes these sorts of responses happen subtly -- you may not always recognize that you and your therapist are actually doing one or a few of what is in the second pie chart. That is one nice thing about therapy: you can be having a very natural-feeling conversation with your therapist, and be learning things without even realizing it!
Of course, all therapists and clients are different. Some therapists use some pieces of the pie chart more than others, and you might prefer a few pieces over others as well. So you might not see all of the pieces all the time. But chances are, when it feels like you are just venting, you are also doing other things. And if it doesn’t feel that way, maybe it’s time to have a conversation with your therapist about the types of interactions that might work better for you.
If you are currently in therapy, try to think about some of the things that you have gotten out of it in addition to being able to vent about problems. And if you aren’t in therapy, consider which of these things might be most important to you if you were to start. Being more aware of ourselves and our needs can make for a much richer experience, both in therapy and in life in general.
